The Death of America's Space Program

The recent decision by President Obama to nix the Constellation Moon Program was just the final nail in the coffin of America's Space Program. In Truth, the program has been shaking in it's death throes since the Columbia disaster, in which the shuttle disintegrated upon re-entry.

The death rattle STARTED with the Challenger Disaster - something which, interestingly enough, I was not allowed to see as a child at Merwin Elementary.

What really bothers me about all this is that in a way, its a middle finger to the people who Died in these two events, us giving up. Every man and woman upon those ships was willing to give their lives for the chance to be in space! And us pretty much giving up makes it as if they gave their lives for nothing. We've become too concerned with the details, and not the big picture here.

Plus it would seem the average American knows very little about space, and cares not to learn much. Not to mention with all the light pollution over half the US can't see a damn thing at night other than a few bright stars. A few years ago, during a total black out, a number of Indiana residents called the police and fire stations concerned with what they were seeing in the sky. Know what they saw? The Milky Way. How sad And ridiculous!!

America has become complacent about far too much, the Space Program being just one of the many things most no longer even think about, let alone concern themselves with. For Shame!

I said to a friend the other day I wanted to live in Space. His reply? Better learn some Chinese. Or Russian. Well screw the whole Chinese idea. They always cut corners and seem to care little about safety.

So I guess it's "da, komrade!?"

The ESA ( European Space Agency) doesn't seem to have the funds to put people in Space - only projects. But at least they have some vision and drive.

I never thought I'd see the death of American Space Exploration in my lifetime, but it seems sadly, I have.

What do you do when your family doesn't support you?

How are you supposed to make it through, day by day, when no one will back you up!?

How do you explain to them that half of the reason you are a mess is BECAUSE they don't support you and constantly judge you?

I grew up with a nice, close, happy family. Then one day that all changed. And because I didn't support someone in their poor, shabby, bullshit decision and behavior, I became the nemesis. The henchman. The black sheep. The bad guy.

What a joke.

Especially considering the way said person carries out their life.

I guess I need to insulate and protect at this point. And also grow a nice Thick Protective Barrier level skin or something. Because I don't know if I can take any more.

I have heard the most ridiculous things that I supposedly did. And through unfortunate circumstances, fell into bad situations which only exacerbated the problem, and superficially confirmed everyone else's doubts and opinions.

I am not a bad person.

There are people and animals even, that I would defend to the death and have no regrets doing so, on this Earth.

I have made some very poor choices and done some stupid things, but at the end of the day, it was all in the hopes that the people or situations I chose would get better.

To no avail, obviously. People don't change. They only get worse.

So what am I to do now? Become a hollow shell? Or so thickly walled and insulated that no one can reach me? That's not living.

I am feeling so uncertain and unhappy.. and all because of Other people. So I guess all I can do right now is forgive myself and move on.

You with me?